Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
