I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
