I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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