What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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