Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
