no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
