put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
