my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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