It's like God shit irony all over that family
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
