With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
