I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
