Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I touched a dick in church today
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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