I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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