We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Randomize