She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
