you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
