She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He? As in you personified your dick?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
