there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
