where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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