she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize