what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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