I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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