I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
