I'm jealous of your bromance
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
