It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
