She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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