More tranny stories later!
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize