I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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