I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
