3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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