I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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