So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
This gyro tastes like lonliness
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
