you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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