I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
