Yo dont text me then not text me
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
