Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
she told me i tasted like america
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
