we're blogging at a bar
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
