I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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