why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
