we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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