do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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