ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
