he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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