I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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