So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
