I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
