i permit you to call me
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
