I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
