Are we in a gay sports bar?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
