your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
