I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
