what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Randomize
