I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
