I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
