I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Randomize
