She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
