I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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