She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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