you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She tied me up with her honor cords...
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
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