my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
