Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
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