I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
