So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
