Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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