my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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