he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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