I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
