Where did you get a picture of my penis
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
My vagina is officially offended.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
