Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
