Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
