She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
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