You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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