found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
