Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
