He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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